Metaphorically speaking...

So I walked up the last few steps to the 'Guarded door'. Not the first time I'd trod these steps, but somehow it felt different from all the previous times.

Buchalwood was sitting there, expecting me. At least that was the impression her expression gave me. A coaching queen with a difference. No self directed learning with her. You tell her your problem, she gives you the answer, you do it. Saves so much time compared to finding my own answers....

'What can I do for you this time Jonathan!' the voice boomed, sounding independent of her body. I was not slow this time to reply to her. This wasn't someone who liked being held up, and I could already hear the next steps approaching the door behind me.

'My heart aches, and I know why. I search far, I search wide, but still I find no maiden who'll marry me. Tell me what I should do' I beseeched. In my heart, I felt desperate for a resolution to my quest.

'Of what I know of love, and of you, here is what you should do. Find yourself a place with many women and find someone who'll talk to you. Change yourself to be acceptable to her, do whatever she says, marry her and live with her until at least the silver time, a quarter century is that'.

I was getting a bad feeling now, but Buchalwood went on...

'If you feel tears, ignore them, and behave as if things are good. Invest most of your life here, to build a secure nest, and do not think under any circumstances that there may be better outside. A mutual dis-appreciation society is the perfect relationship. Do not be yourself under any circumstances. Then, at the end of your time, lament what might have been, nothing where love was before'.

'What?' I boomed, albeit a smaller boom than hers. 'I walked up six miles of stairs for that? How could you possibly think I'd be so mad as to want a woman like that?'

'I'm sorry Jonathan, but I know you well. I thought you'd want that. That's how you've set up your career'.

Silence - the end

Mark Eyre

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As one of us that's been playing for years, this raised a chortle.